Can you hear me?

Monday, July 01, 2013

I stare at the back of your head. Willing you to turn around. I had practiced my telepathic skills lately. And am almost sure the fly that I had been commanding to stop, halted.

Boosted by this small victory, I am now using it on you with all my strength and hope.
"Turn around. Look at me. Look straight into my eyes. Look deep into my soul. Fall in love with me again. Just turn around. Look at me."

Your head suddenly cocked to one side. As if you had heard something.

My heart, paused a beat. Or a hundred.

I felt a surge of overwhelming surprise that my dodgy telepathic skills are working, but before that triumph could fully blossom, you turned back around to face the front and my hope, wilted.

So much for that. I groaned in frustration. And continued my relentless chant.

Do you know, that I hate coming here because of you? Because you remind me of what I use to have. That I was stupid enough to let go. That I wasn't strong enough to hold on to, to chase after.

Do you know that I still think of you? In the dark of the room, the still of the night, the fan lazily swinging its merry go round.

Sometimes, I can almost hear your voice, soothing me asleep. Like you use to.

You don't know, how much you meant to me. And honestly, I didn't either, until I didn't have you anymore.

Maybe not as much you did. Maybe never in the way that you did.

But as much as my selfish, shriveled up heart could.

And I continued staring at the back of your head, hoping that even now, you can hear my thoughts as clearly as you use to.

But if you could. Then you chose to be deaf unto me.