How to be a GIRL manual (according to guys)

Thursday, April 02, 2009

So, apparently, I am more guy than girl. In an attempt to be the right gender, I asked around school on how to be a girl, according to guys.
These were the rules they put up:

1/ Be confused - Brandon and Samuel.
There's a story behind this...but that's not important.

2/ Sit like a girl - Samuel
Corollary: Based on observations made from the senior class of Vineyard, application of this rule deducts that:

a/ All girls except one are not girls, and
b/ All boys except one are not girls
Haha! Confusing right?? But it actually makes sense. Serious. Read it again.

3/ Have boobs
....... but no penis - Jaryl
Practical. Thank you.

4/ Be hot
.....something you're extremely lacking - (hmm yeah, guess who?) Josh and Brand.

5/ Don't shout excessively - Josh

6/ Don't cry at every sad moment - Josh is stereotyping

7/ Pay attention to other guys - words of wisdom from Desmond

8/ Be able to multitask - Jon

9/ No Chewbacca (the hairy dude on Star Wars) hair - Derrick.
This rule shall be ignored.

10/ Don't be rough. Don't start (physical) fights - Garrett
Although it may sound sexist, it is true though right?

11/ Have girl gestures - Daniel
He couldn't tell me exactly what these hand gestures were. He said vaguely that girls moved their hands whilst they talk. Oh yeah, this is the bit where I mention that Daniel moved his hands throughout the whole conversation.

12/ Grooming. Plucking eyebrows was the only example he can think of - Basil

13/ Manicures - Keith

14/ Don't walk with a swagger - Josh

15/ Don't be aggressive - Josh
Oh, THANKS Josh.

16/ Do NOT announce yourself when going to the toilet - Josh.

So that's the end of it.
This list has started out being a HOW to be a GIRL manual and somehow converted to a "How to be the PERFECT girl manual."
Anything anyone want to add? Or complain about?

Look out for the next post. HOW to be a GIRL, according to GIRLS.


  1. it would appear im about as far as posssible from the perfect gurl then .....