faded

Sunday, December 20, 2015
I'm scared.

That the demands of the world, the restrictions, the conditions in my life would keep me in my place. That I would never explore the world and myself in it as I've always imagined.

I am afraid that if I do not have the courage now to break free of societal conventions and responsibilities, it will be progressively harder to do so. And I will forever remain where I am. Bitterly. Angrily. Cowardly.

I am afraid that my life wouldn't be the life I wanted. but a life I chose. And I'm not sure if that's any better.


a frustrated non-poem

Friday, December 11, 2015
tonight. i walked home in the rain by myself.
again. the ghost of you walked beside me.
stuck. fucking living in a memory.